One of the big problems with normally getting so little sleep is that your body will actually get used to it. You’ll still feel just as tired from getting only a few hours of sleep like you would if you had a normal sleep schedule but now your brain is expecting you to only sleep for a few hours. That means that once you actually get the chance to fall asleep early or at a normal time, you’ll find that you don’t get a full, restful night’s sleep but instead end up waking up at unreasonably early hours of the morning and that it’ll be quite hard to convince your brain to let you fall asleep. This has been one of the two problems I’ve been having now that I’m back home for the Thanksgiving. It seems that my choices are to either stay up late or wake up early. Both of which are shitty.
Now, the other issue that I’ve had involving sleep is with my dreams. I’ll always gone back and forth between either having no dreams at all or having very long, drawn out, dreams that are very vivid. If I was a psychologist or someone who studies dream I could probably tell you why this is but, to be honest, I don’t know and I really don’t care to know. I do know, however, that it’s related, at least partially and for me, to how much sleep I get. Well, now that I’m back home guess who’s been having plenty of weird dreams? That’s right, me. Not all of my dreams are terrible, some can be a lot of fun but they usually tend to swing between fantastically amazing and utterly disturbing.
For example, yesterday I had a dream that would have made a really cool episode of Doctor Who and I was both the star and the spectator at the same time. The plot that I got out of it was that the Doctor did something that made all of Humanity know who he was and then he disappeared but he left his TARDIS around and completely open. After years and years the Doctor is still missing but has become a legend and while people have done research into the TARDIS trying to figure out how it works. They’ve started to make crude representations that can disappear and reappear like the TARDIS but can’t actually manipulate space or time. Then it took a bit of a darker twist. The main character that, who I was in the view point of, ended up getting led somewhere and captured. They had people lined up and were getting injected with some strange drug. Now, I don’t remember exactly what it was but I thought it was a cool idea that they were trying to turn humans into something like Time Lords. Anyways, I escapes and is chased down. Right before I’m caught the actual TARDIS appears behind me and a woman steps out wielding a sonic screwdriver. She takes care of my pursuers and then we rush into the TARDIS. We both refer to the other as “Doctor” thinking that either one is the next regeneration only to realize that we were both only part of the strange drug experiment and that the real Doctor still needs to be found. My dream ended there. I swear I even saw the credits begin to roll before I woke up.
That sounds like fun right? Well, it was but that was definitely one of my better dreams. The more disturbing ones tend to be less fun. Now there’s two main categories here. Ones that play off my fears and one that are just messed up. The ones that play one my fears and anxieties are pretty much what you’d expect. The classic, “you failed all of your exams” or “getting rejected in the worst and most humiliating way possible”. They always make me wake up with a feeling horrible but at least they can be reasoned away after thinking logically about them. The more disturbing dreams, however, are a bit harder to reason away and almost always make me feel sick. I haven’t had them often but when I do they usually stick in me head for far too long. I really don’t feel like writing about them hear and if I told you about them you probably wouldn’t blame me for that choice. What you need to know though is that they’d be disturbing to anyone who’s not a psychopath. These day, I’m always hoping to get one of the fun pleasant dreams if I dream at all but most of the time it’s just a gamble.